Well since my last post, my stress level has increased a HUGE amount. I even considered dropping the program and I'm not the only one. Out of 22, it looks like we have already lost 1 person! :( It's not that I don't want to be a nurse or don't think I can do the job, it's that I'm not sure I can handle the structure of nursing school. Last week was just bad. It was so bad, I gave up Friday and went out and drinking. Drank WAY TOO MUCH. Which left me sick all day Saturday and unable to study and in turn made me feel horrible about myself. Lesson learned, alcohol isn't the answer. Didn't I learn that a long time ago away? Duh!
I have realized that I don't do well when things are disorganized, which seems to be how a lot of things in nursing school go. For example, sometimes it takes 20 minutes just to figure out what we are supposed to even be reading for that week. After the 20 minutes I get discouraged and I haven't accomplished any reading yet. So then I get distracted, do something else and end up getting nothing done. This Sunday I just told myself, oh well, it's not organized just read. I read and read and read and finally I just went with it. It helped because I got 5 out of 5 on our quiz Monday! YAY!!!!!!!!!! But then only got 3 out of 5 on our quiz today. Man, I'm trying, that's all I can do. Trying my best and doing my best.
At this point, although I know working out helps me keep my sanity, it's not really on the top of my todo list. I don't really care how much weight I gain as long as I make it through the 3 years. Last week I went to the gym 4 days, hopefully this week it will be back to 5-6 but we'll see. I can't keep beating myself up about not meeting the personal goals I set for myself. I need to just go with it, need to be flexible. Goal for this week: BE FLEXIBLE!!!!!!!
I'm exhausted, feel like I'm about to pass out typing this blog and still have work to do so I have to go...BYE FRIENDS!!!